Why you lyin'...?!

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*smiles with a little contentment*
Hey people!
*GASP* Yessssssssssssssss I'm doing a post and it hasn't been a whole month later!!!

YAY ME!
For all my readersssssss; I love that you love the wierd crap that happens to me!... It's comforting to know that my discomfort brings your happiness!!
No, but seriously, KEEP READING! And when you read it....share it with your friends and tell them to to the same :o]

So me? I've been great. Getting good feedback about the blog. So I'm excellent!
Mannnnn, your girl has fallen off, got knocked down and been rolled over by the diet bandwagon. BUT HONESTLY, I swear to you, those two slices of pound cake were calling my name and they sang for me...THEY SANG FOR ME!!! "Hello" by Lionel Richie to be exact... Who doesn't love singing cake?! It had to be done...I had to consume them passionately...it's an emotional thing...I loved them.

I mean I'm not morbidly obese...just obese...[saying the morbidly part first makes obese seem...pretty okay]

Now, you guys, I am a HUGE R'n'B and Neo Soul fan. R'n'B of the 90's and early 2000's are my fav. And if that's the same for you, you would be familiar with Deangelo. Made famous by his song "Untitled (How Does it Feel)"...when, in the video, he strips down to nothing but the God-given goodness that makes you want to rub singing pound cake on his rippling abs...covered in hot chocolate...hot chocolate with marshmellows washing down warm chocolate chip cook...erm...getting a little off track...*woosah*...anyways...

The Deangelo we were introduced to:
Deangelo2

DeAngelo to date:

dangelo-copy

Personally, my feelings are hurt!!!!....anyways....I can't even type without getting worked up...I MEAN HONESTLY!??!?!?!?! *sigh* I still love you DeAngelo...even though you look like a bootleg version of Theo from the Cosby Show...


Moving on people....lol lately I have been encountering some funny situations, nothing new right?? Let me ask, isn't it hillarious when someone is lying to you...and YOU know that they are, but they don't know that you know??? That is the FUNNIEST EXPERIENCE in the world...

[guy pops up on IM]
-Now a little background info on this dude. He added me and we chatted on and off and about a month after this conversation he threatened to shoot me in my head (@_@), but that should in no way shape or form make you conjour up an opinion of him...lol really...-
My comments in the []
Guy: hey
Me: hi
Guy: how u doin
Me: i'm good
Guy: oh okay...i'm doin good too [don't remember asking you, but fine]
Me: oh ok
Guy: yeh ya see. even after me and my girl break up
Me: oh ok [once again offering up information that I didn't request...]
Guy: yeah. Das her dere *puts girl in d/p*
Me: [person's name] is your ex??? [WAIT FOR IT]
Guy: Yeah, why you know her aye? Everyone I show dat pic say dey is know her bey. Das my heart dred.
Me: I know her...we were friends for a long time. In fact that's my best friend. And I don't remember her sayin anything about you really...[BAM!!!]
Guy: [paranoid as HELL] Oh bey i didnt know dat. mannn dnt tell her please...that aint my ex i was only jokin...DNT TELL HER BEY
[At this point now I AM DYING OF LAUGHTER]
Me: You're pathetic...where does she know you from anyways?
Guy: School, bey PLEASE DONT TELL HER

-AND SCENE!-

LOL WHY MAN!...like honestly...WHY YOU LYIN'!?!?!?!?! What was the purpose of doing that? I didn't ASK you about your ex...lol psh talkin' 'bout "das my heart" BOY PLEASE..GET OFF MY STAGE!

Another one of these "I know you're lyin', but you don't know I know" moments was with this girl I graduated from high school with.
THIS CHICK lied constanyly...just because the sun was up and she had some kinda of gas exchange going through her lungs.

ONE of the incidents I've encountered with her:
-a little background info: the dialogue you are about to see would be including my cousin Shawn, who live in the US. She had gotten his email address from somewhere and one night, since his internet was down he called me and asked me to check his email....so...I did the total opposite and went on his IM. This same girl from my school popped up and said "hey" and I said "hi" and THAT WAS IT-

The next morning at school, a few friends and I were talking and she came and pulled one of my friends away from the group to TELL A SECRECT [this crap annoys the hell out of me]. My friend returns to the group and tells me what she said.

"She said that your cousin says he hates you and he talks bad about you, a lot."

With this info I follow the hippo...um...the girl and ask her what was that all about. She utters out of her face, "Last night when I was talkin to Shawn online, he was talkin' bad about you he said he hated you."

-SCREECHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
[Last night...???]

Me: Is that all he said?
Hipp..Um Girl: No....we was just talking about us....and-
Me: -cutting her off- See...I find that interesting...
Girl: Well, ya'll sort that out...'cause-
Me: -cutting her off- No me and him don't need to sort it out..me and you do, because I don't remember CARISSA and [girl's name] having all of that conversation.
Girl: Me and your cousin did...-
Me: -cutting her off- Exactly...it was me last night...and WE didn't talk about anything...LIAR...
Girl: You lyin'...
Me: Shuttup, you dismissed, you're dumb..GET OUT MY FACE! Before i skin you...[well maybe I didn't say the "before I skin you" part...talking about these memories is kinda making me upset]

But yeah, HEFFA....WHY YOU LYIN'?!?! BE DISMISSED...GET OFF MY STAGE!...and this chick would go on even up until college life, lying and instigating crap that almost made me yuck her and shatter her eye sockets!....erm...*woosah*

Why do people do that?! I mean I'm not giving anyone any reason to lie, but at least make it a meaningful one! If i DON'T ASK....then DON'T tell me anything...just shuttup..SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET OFF MY STAGE...!

BABIESSSSS, I'll be in Ft. Lauderdale next week Tuesday!!! WOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTT.
Other blogs to come!
[I HOPE YA'LL SPOTTIN ALL THIS CONSISTENCY!!!]

If you think my blog is funny, you guys need to check out my girl Tracey's Vlog. You won't be disappointed. Here is her latest one! [Follow the link kiddies!!]:
TAP has...a facebook affair

1 comments:

tap said...

LOLOLOLOL im literally gasping for airrr...cece u are RUDE...yet funnny LOL oh man keeep em cominggg


get off my STAGE! da new quote for oh9!