She's bacckkkk!!!

Hey guys!!!

I hope you are doing well, well better than me at least. I’d like to thank you guys for the feedback, questions and comments! Keep ‘em coming. Email any topic that you want me to talk about or any situation you might want me to address to: or

Well, let me be the first to wish you guys a HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY…
….from Pluto. [insert weird smile here]

I hope you guys got all your frivolous baskets and chocolates and broke up with who ever didn’t buy you the gift you wanted. Lol I kid, but I DO know of some cases where some guys were left hanging because they showed up empty handed…
They showed up and their girlfriends showed off lol
(I hope you guys noticed the slight “news reporting” type writing I did just now.)

Speaking of news report!
I’m at work…internship…labor with no pay….
Should be working on a story but my sources haven’t called me back yet. So I’m sittin’ as pretty as…well ME! Lol anyways.
A few of you wanted me to weigh in on the Chris mauling Rihanna situation. The story is…lol all drawn out if you ask me…If you see any lol’s, please excuse them and don’t think of me as scum. I’m just a blogger with a crude sense of humor I guess???
But I don’t want to weigh in… I hate scales and the word “weigh” pisses me off…
[SIDEBAR: I need to get cracking on my workout because I look like a brown triplex apartment building with two hummers in the front yard…YUH GIRL NEEDS TO SHAPE IT UP!]
But yeah, I don’t want to talk about it in much detail. HOWEVER, if you want to discuss it one-on-one I will [Email me!].
Note to remember: Celebrities are human. They just fart money…well not all…some of ‘em fart hot gas like everyone else. As far as holding people accountable, I’m all for it. I have the ropes, chains and torches. I’m always down for public torture…I KID!
But yeah, if he danced on Rihanna and thought she was double-mint gum and bit the frig outta her…so what? Don’t we all attack and bite the people we love?! Geez! ANYWAYS!
Yeah, that’s as much as I’m going to talk about, because I AM TIRED OF THE STORY…in all honesty.
And another note to remember: People say a man should never hit woman….this is my take on it…And it can be used for both genders:
Don’t give what you can’t take…and don’t take what you don’t give:

Elaboration: Don’t hit someone and expect to walk off sipping a Starbucks tall chocolate-blended crème in your hand. EXPECT to be hit back, whether or not the person retaliates won’t be your problem because you are ready, willing, able…and armed.
Secondly, if you don’t hit on the person or verbally abuse them…DON’T LET THEM HIT YOU OR VERBALLY ABUSE YOU… If one day they decide to go crazy and sign a death wish and smack you…peel their skin off…don’t cry and call it a day...or night…or Saturday… Cry after…or during to release more anger…
Wow I totally felt like Dr. Phil…
No, honestly. I think I feel my hairline receding…

Funny thing happened…

Who me? Yes. But I am talking about the ever so loving Subway Sandwich artist lady… [I swear I need a reality T.V. show, and that was a shameless request, if you know how I could get my own reality show hit me up. It should be a breathe of fresh air from gross dudes looking for love and “realness” in STD ridden attention whores with extensions, celebrities trying to become “normal” again, or the life of CELEBRITIES….]

[Carissa saunters into Subway with her hair freshly done looking totally gorgeous and…*snaps* OKAY BACK TO THE STORY]

Just my luck…the SAME friggin’ lady.

S.A.: Hey, girl! (like we are cool or something?)
Carissa: Hey. Can I have a 6 inch Meatball sub on Italian, Herbs and Cheese bread, please?
S.A: I see ya’ tongue still pierced.
[Carissa smiles]
S.A: Why you don’t take it out?
Carissa: [a little annoyed] Is my tongue piercing affecting the way you make a sandwich?
S.A.: No, I just sayin’. It’s just so, weird.
Carissa: [thinking] Just make my F[censored]ing sandwich…WTF.
S.A.: Toasted or warmed?
Carissa: Toasted.
[S.A. puts sandwich in the toaster and returns to the counter]
S.A: You gay, aye?
Carissa: WTF? What does that have to do with my DAMN SANDWICHHHHHHH?!
S.A.: It ain’ because of your sandwich….
Carissa: Exactly, so why are we discussing this???...
[Get the sandwich out of the toaster]
S.A.: Only gay people like them things, right?
Carissa: According to you, I’m a hot flaming lesbian…so I guess…
S.A.: Gay people DO have that…
Carissa: No lettuce, just mayo, thanks.
S.A.: You should take that out before people start thinking you gay…
[S.A. cashes my order]
Carissa: Before I leave, since we’re working off of stereotypes, here… I guess you’re an idiot who either can’t afford college or not smart enough to go. Because you don’t need a degree to put condiments on a sandwich, no?
[S.A. stands shocked and I walk off]

Two good things came out of my mini blow up in Subway that Saturday afternoon.
1) I got to vent on some ignorant [censored]
2) I could watch her make my sandwich so she couldn’t spit, piss or smear the sandwich on her dry scalp

Now, I am in no, way shape or form saying that dumb people work to Subway, because I don’t know why they work there. Just giving her a dose of her own meds. Not all people who work to Subway are dumb and not all people with tongue piercings are gay.

Anyways babies, this blog getting longer than I wanted it to be.
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