Hey Mister....

Hey Mister,

You don't know me, but the further down in this letter will reveal why it should remain that way. Now, I'm new to Chicago and I love everything about it. The weather is bearable and the people are easy on the eyes. What's not so easy on the eyes is what has come to be a regular habit of yours in the evening times.

This is where it gets a little open and out there. Literally. Now I've noticed that you like to walk around in your tighty whities and hey, I do too. That's all fine and dandy. I;m in my tight whites as I type. However, the sight of your naked crack and your two egg and one sausage link breakfast platter tonight does not sit well with me. It's standing up.....(no pun intended).

I do appreciate freedom of expression and you can walk around naked in your own house. Let's try and keep the blinds closed this time. And don't think I didn't notice when you put your boxers on, then a few minutes later...there breakfast was again. Did you see me watching? Did you think I liked it? I see you strutting around and what not.

For future references, it;s always okay to close the blinds. Mkay? Now don't ask me why I was staring or how long I was staring. Not the point.

Thanks to you, I will never look at a sausage link and two boiled eggs on a platter the same again. *throws greasy underwear*

Sincerely yours in peeping tommery,
Carissa Rho


Nina said...

now when you say "sausage" u mean the lil links? .. just wondering..

Ampy said...

It could be that he either saw you watching or he has another audience altogether. I'm curious to know why his spread is compromising your general acceptance of the combo platter... that sounds like an entry all on its own.