Why you lyin'...?!

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*smiles with a little contentment*
Hey people!
*GASP* Yessssssssssssssss I'm doing a post and it hasn't been a whole month later!!!

YAY ME!
For all my readersssssss; I love that you love the wierd crap that happens to me!... It's comforting to know that my discomfort brings your happiness!!
No, but seriously, KEEP READING! And when you read it....share it with your friends and tell them to to the same :o]

So me? I've been great. Getting good feedback about the blog. So I'm excellent!
Mannnnn, your girl has fallen off, got knocked down and been rolled over by the diet bandwagon. BUT HONESTLY, I swear to you, those two slices of pound cake were calling my name and they sang for me...THEY SANG FOR ME!!! "Hello" by Lionel Richie to be exact... Who doesn't love singing cake?! It had to be done...I had to consume them passionately...it's an emotional thing...I loved them.

I mean I'm not morbidly obese...just obese...[saying the morbidly part first makes obese seem...pretty okay]

Now, you guys, I am a HUGE R'n'B and Neo Soul fan. R'n'B of the 90's and early 2000's are my fav. And if that's the same for you, you would be familiar with Deangelo. Made famous by his song "Untitled (How Does it Feel)"...when, in the video, he strips down to nothing but the God-given goodness that makes you want to rub singing pound cake on his rippling abs...covered in hot chocolate...hot chocolate with marshmellows washing down warm chocolate chip cook...erm...getting a little off track...*woosah*...anyways...

The Deangelo we were introduced to:
Deangelo2

DeAngelo to date:

dangelo-copy

Personally, my feelings are hurt!!!!....anyways....I can't even type without getting worked up...I MEAN HONESTLY!??!?!?!?! *sigh* I still love you DeAngelo...even though you look like a bootleg version of Theo from the Cosby Show...


Moving on people....lol lately I have been encountering some funny situations, nothing new right?? Let me ask, isn't it hillarious when someone is lying to you...and YOU know that they are, but they don't know that you know??? That is the FUNNIEST EXPERIENCE in the world...

[guy pops up on IM]
-Now a little background info on this dude. He added me and we chatted on and off and about a month after this conversation he threatened to shoot me in my head (@_@), but that should in no way shape or form make you conjour up an opinion of him...lol really...-
My comments in the []
Guy: hey
Me: hi
Guy: how u doin
Me: i'm good
Guy: oh okay...i'm doin good too [don't remember asking you, but fine]
Me: oh ok
Guy: yeh ya see. even after me and my girl break up
Me: oh ok [once again offering up information that I didn't request...]
Guy: yeah. Das her dere *puts girl in d/p*
Me: [person's name] is your ex??? [WAIT FOR IT]
Guy: Yeah, why you know her aye? Everyone I show dat pic say dey is know her bey. Das my heart dred.
Me: I know her...we were friends for a long time. In fact that's my best friend. And I don't remember her sayin anything about you really...[BAM!!!]
Guy: [paranoid as HELL] Oh bey i didnt know dat. mannn dnt tell her please...that aint my ex i was only jokin...DNT TELL HER BEY
[At this point now I AM DYING OF LAUGHTER]
Me: You're pathetic...where does she know you from anyways?
Guy: School, bey PLEASE DONT TELL HER

-AND SCENE!-

LOL WHY MAN!...like honestly...WHY YOU LYIN'!?!?!?!?! What was the purpose of doing that? I didn't ASK you about your ex...lol psh talkin' 'bout "das my heart" BOY PLEASE..GET OFF MY STAGE!

Another one of these "I know you're lyin', but you don't know I know" moments was with this girl I graduated from high school with.
THIS CHICK lied constanyly...just because the sun was up and she had some kinda of gas exchange going through her lungs.

ONE of the incidents I've encountered with her:
-a little background info: the dialogue you are about to see would be including my cousin Shawn, who live in the US. She had gotten his email address from somewhere and one night, since his internet was down he called me and asked me to check his email....so...I did the total opposite and went on his IM. This same girl from my school popped up and said "hey" and I said "hi" and THAT WAS IT-

The next morning at school, a few friends and I were talking and she came and pulled one of my friends away from the group to TELL A SECRECT [this crap annoys the hell out of me]. My friend returns to the group and tells me what she said.

"She said that your cousin says he hates you and he talks bad about you, a lot."

With this info I follow the hippo...um...the girl and ask her what was that all about. She utters out of her face, "Last night when I was talkin to Shawn online, he was talkin' bad about you he said he hated you."

-SCREECHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
[Last night...???]

Me: Is that all he said?
Hipp..Um Girl: No....we was just talking about us....and-
Me: -cutting her off- See...I find that interesting...
Girl: Well, ya'll sort that out...'cause-
Me: -cutting her off- No me and him don't need to sort it out..me and you do, because I don't remember CARISSA and [girl's name] having all of that conversation.
Girl: Me and your cousin did...-
Me: -cutting her off- Exactly...it was me last night...and WE didn't talk about anything...LIAR...
Girl: You lyin'...
Me: Shuttup, you dismissed, you're dumb..GET OUT MY FACE! Before i skin you...[well maybe I didn't say the "before I skin you" part...talking about these memories is kinda making me upset]

But yeah, HEFFA....WHY YOU LYIN'?!?! BE DISMISSED...GET OFF MY STAGE!...and this chick would go on even up until college life, lying and instigating crap that almost made me yuck her and shatter her eye sockets!....erm...*woosah*

Why do people do that?! I mean I'm not giving anyone any reason to lie, but at least make it a meaningful one! If i DON'T ASK....then DON'T tell me anything...just shuttup..SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET OFF MY STAGE...!

BABIESSSSS, I'll be in Ft. Lauderdale next week Tuesday!!! WOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTT.
Other blogs to come!
[I HOPE YA'LL SPOTTIN ALL THIS CONSISTENCY!!!]

If you think my blog is funny, you guys need to check out my girl Tracey's Vlog. You won't be disappointed. Here is her latest one! [Follow the link kiddies!!]:
TAP has...a facebook affair

Blog 1 From heaven

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Heyyyy guys!
What's up???
I have died and gone to heaven. Thank you guys, whose eyes are reading these words now, for stickin around and puttin up with my inconsistency....I LOVE YOU FOR IT!

Before i starttttttttt I wanna tell you guys to check out my HOME BOY, Producer/singer/what-ever-else; Sean Ill:


Check out his music!!! And my fav song: "Insanity"

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ALRIGHTY!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I want to let you guys know thattttt SCHOOL IS FINISHEDDD!![It has been for some time, but you guys already know what it is!]
So, that means I'll be able to keep the blog warm. Two claps for me!!

But yeah, I honestly think that I deserve some sort of an award just for FINISHING this semester. Hmmm I might consider buying myself something I don't need and try to justify it with that...hmmm yeah

Well, your girl here has been on a....dare i say it....

DIET!!! and it's....dare i say it....

WORKING!!!

These pounds are melting like ice in the sunnnnnnnn and I love it..
...went to work out yesterday...lol lol *sigh* My body feels beat down and abused...something I'd like to call the "Amy Winehouse After effect"...I LOVE ME SOME AMY THOUGH! Her drug induced seizures and her drunken dances on stage are hypnotizing.

Anyways.....
For the most part, I've been behaving...been running into some wierd situations and some messed up situations and I want to share them now, but I will share it when the situation becomes more definite.

But yeah I want to talk about some things...vent really. Give you an eyeful.

First and foremost, I know you guys love the wierd situations that I encounter with guys so I'll share those first. Now I will present 2 situations and I want you to notice the similarity in all of them okay.

[AGAIN Names have been changed...but that is the only thing...the convo was copied and pasted all typos are left as is]

*Carissa signs in on IM*
*random guy with guys in his display picture pops up*

Random Guy 1: wat u sayin sweet girl?
Carissa: ...nuthin
Random Guy 1: how was yuo day lovely?
Carissa: it was okay, nothing to complain about really [I NOTICE I TYPE REALLY FORMALLY WHEN I AM NOT INTERESTEDDDD...lol lol observe!]
Random Guy 1: so wat you have plan for the rest of the day?
Carissa: i'm not sure yet. Just chill
Random Guy 1: tru tru....where you live?
-HAULT!-
...well...lol not now
-PLAY-
Carissa: what? :|
Random guy 1: where youlive sweet girl
Carissa: why you want to kno?
Random guy 1: we coula chill 2day ya see
Carissa: wtf?! i don't know you
Random guy 1: das why I comin over
Carissa: bye

_____________________________________________________________________________________
*randomg guy 2 with weed in his display pic*

Random guy 2: u pretty bey
Carissa: thank you
Random guy 2: i kno u have plenty guys afta u dred
Carissa: I wouldn't say that...
Random guy 2: u modess na
Carissa: I guess
Random guy 2: so where you live baby girl?
*is tempted to push the pause button...but resists*
Carissa: What...? :|
Random guy 2: where you live?
Carissa: you don;t need to know that
Random guy 2: well gimme yuh number than
Carissa: no
Random guy 2: man aye tell me where u live man

BUH-LOCK AND DEE-LEET!

WHY WHY WHY WHY....

If I don't know you...you ask me where i LIVE...no no no no no

Of course I'll let you know where I live. So you can come here and rape me and eat my Special K cereal.....

THAT IS A BIG NO NO....it's even worse when you REPEAT the question as if I didn't read it clearly the first time...just...*sigh* When you do that..JUST SHUT UP AND BE BLOCKED....WOOSAH

hmm I wanted to add another rant here, but this blog is turnin up to be longer than I wanted it to be, Imma get back to you guys when I make that OTHER situation definite and combine that with the blog that was supposed to be included in this one..[didn't confuse you right...because I kinda got confused typin it...].




Random Rant:
WHY DO PEOPLE SEND YOU PLAYLIST IN MYSPACE COMMENTS...
I WILL NOT ACCEPT IT....ask me to listen..I WILL...
if i WANTED your music on my myspace page...I wud add it...sooo stop that crap...



Anyway ya'll CHECK SEAN ILL OUT...and peace!!

OH YEAH! Your girl is going to Ft. Lauderdale on the 23rd of December! Gonna chill wit Jolly Old St. Nick in the US. I know...I love it too...

PEACE forreals now!

AND UP FROM THE GRAVE SHE ARISES!

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HEYYYYYY People!!!!

So for those of you who do read my blog are probably mad now because you have already bought the casket and for you sweethearts done gone and wrote a eulogy...and I come here and ruin your whole day!...

I will make it up I promise.

Soooooooo yeah my excuse that I conjured up to present to you is...I HAD SCHOOL WORK TO DO...and I think that's a pretty good one....

Anyways...yeah, school has been playing a major factor as to why most of you done threw dirt on my blog and R.I.P.'d a sista...
But ya'll k now my procrastination problem...I still haven't received a number for the people yet soooo PROCRASTINATE I MUST!!!

But school has been a main course proper HELL with a side order of torcher and washed down with a tall glass pain on the rocks. Why?

1. My reporting class has been hell really. I mean it eased up a little, but initially you could not tell me that my Reporting lecturer wasn't sent to detroy me. All the friggin stories and ACCURACY...SMT BLAH!! I don;t even wanna get into it, because I can feel the tears coming out of my eyes...or is it blood?..ERM YEH IT'S THAT SERIOUS...

2. My Oral communications class (and it's a class that prepares you for public speaking for those whose minds stay posted on Gutter St.) I love performing spoken word...I really do, but it's something about andin in front of a class and a lecturer that just makes my....hmm yeah. LEt's just say I get nervous.


BUT!...All work and no play makes me who i am!!! Lol nahhh, but yeah, I haven't been "out" in a while. HOWEVER, life never seems to get any less entertaining, I promise you.

So yeah a little scenario that i want to share, and I'll link this to another blog I'm going to write...
ATTENTION: All of the transcript dialogue you are about to read is totally true. Nothing is made up for entertainnt....besides you couldn't make crap like this up.
ANYWAY
my thoughts in []
*home phone rings*
Me: Hello?
Some wierd deep voice: Goodnight may I speak to Carissa please?
Me: Ummm...speaking?
SWDV: Do you know who this is?
Me: The voice sounds familiar...[UGH IT's THIS ANNOYING DUDE WHO WNT STOP CALLIN!]
SWDV: Who you think this is?
Me: N****? [name has been censored to protect this dude's pride lol]
SWDV: Yeah you right! *flattered* So that means you were thinkin about me?
Me: Uhh not really. [Who the hell forgets someone if they initially called every 4 hours]
N****: So it's been some time...you missed me?
Me: Not really.
N****: Oh so I haven't been on your mind at all? [OMG..you serious?]
Me: *laughs annoyingly*[if u cud do that] Not at all Mr., N****.
N****: You've been on my mind
Me: Uh huh
N****: So you found a man yet? [Way to ease it into the conversation guy...]
Me: Yeah
N****: Oh okay. So you want to go to lunch sometime?? [WDH]
Me: Ummm no...
N****: Why not???...I mean...
Me: -CUTTING HIM OFF- Okay....honestly...
N****: -CUTTING ME OFF- Tell me what's wrong.
Me: I was gonna. But yeah...I;m going to try and put this in a nice way.
N****: Okay.
Me: I'm not interested.
N****: Why what happen?
Me: *laughs annoyingly* Okay...I tried...look I'mma need you to stop calling my house..
N****: Why??? [LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL]

-PAUSE-

Now why is it that my verbal hints never seem to show disinterest?? I need to invest in a Lil Wayne voice box and let him whisper sweet and sour nothings in their ear...since he seems to be the crack in most of the pipes these guys are lighting up. Anyways I digress...

-PLAY-

Me: I am not remotely interested in you...real talk
N****: [here is when he really shows] See, you is the same kinda gyal I dis warn my little brothers of......[and he goes on BLAH BLAH BLAH]

After his rant I hang up....

Now here is what I don;t get....YOU COULD READ MY DISINTEREST...I CUD HEAR MY DISINTEREST..why is it that some guys' ears are immune to tone...and don't even try to catch what's going on? I didn't want to be mean..and HELL I could have been worse...but I chose not to be.

SMT...sigh..another blog is coming up...with relations to this situation.




P.s. just on a Random rant:

WHY
THE
HELL
IS
EVERYONE
USING
THE
WORD
SWAGGER
SO
FREQUENTLY


It's just getting annoying...And has made it number 3 on my pet peeve list...the first being the word "conversate" the second being the misuse of the word "hater"...swagger has fallen victim to over use...

All of a sudden EVERYBODY got "swagger"...

I swear....the only thing that can make me do back to the grave that some of you already had prepare for me...is to hear the word "swagger" used repeatedly on an A Milli Track while I;m trying to do Reporting HW...I swear My Eulogy is prepared...JUST IN CASE...

*SIGH*...Peace Ya'll

Season 1: Episode 3: I....procrastinate...

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Please don't shoot!!!!

*sigh* History repeats itself....
It's been well over a week since I've posted....
....did anybody find the number or contact for the P.A....i really need it...

None the less, I haven't been sitting in my own self worth and rottening. College life is so blah...really. In the past 3 nights, I've had at least 6 hours of sleep...combined. The work is really piling on, but I am back, please forgive me but I have a problem. My friend, Sean has been reminding me...in a very RUDE way to update my blog...so here goes!

It's been a week and alot has happened. My life is a sitcom. I swear. I should carry a camera and record my everyday life and it would make killer ratings..[hmm, food for thought!]

First of all, hurricane Ike....
It amazes me how ungateful people are. Hurricane Ike has left utter devistation everywhere he has crossed, yet people are upset because they had to go to school. I saw some pictures of what it did to Haiti and couldn't help but to be grateful. Ignorance is bliss, but it's annoying as hell to me...forreal....

College..i hate lol
BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT I got an A in the group presentation that has been the cause of my lack of sleep!!!! Sooooo that is just where it's at. It was for my Photojournalism class. Usually I really detest group work...simply because there is always that one person who just freakin' never does their part, however, this was not the case for me. I loved my group hence our ability to get an A, but it would be nice to sleep soundly tonight.

Hmmmmm
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Funny thing...

I REALLY NEED TO GET A NEW EMAIL ADDRESS. Let me express why...
I'm sittin in my room, on my laptop and this person pops up on IM and talks to me. I haven't spoken to this person more than 2 times since she added me...interestingly enough....anyway...take a look see...

Girl: Hey
ME: Hi
Girl: How you doing
[I'm typng my response]
Girl: Do me a favor...[YEAH AM FINE!...wdf]
ME:[being civil] Depends on what it is...
HERE IS THE GOLD....
Girl: You could call the Embassy and make an apointment for me please...

I'm sorry, am I a personal assisant now????

First of all, I don't know you, yet you want to ask me for a favor, which I found a little sketchy...
Secondly....makin appointments for people I don't know is not a hobby of mine..hell, I don't like to make appointments for people i DO know...

I never asked why she needed me to make the appointment i jus told her no, and she got upset... Guess what though...I didn't die, and I slept pecefully that night [after pulling an all nighter lol]

WAIT! There's more!!!!

This is a different girl, but it is hillarious nonetheless

Girl: Hey wassup
ME: Nuthin...u?
Girl: Nuthin
Girl: Hook me up..[WDF]
Not only am I a personal assistant, I'm a matchmaker
ME:??
Girl: Will you?
Me: Why...
Girl: You can't?
ME: Why should I...why do I need to
Girl: Well I was thinking you know alot of guys [is she callin me a slut????]
ME: Welllll I won't help you sorry....
{closes IM box]

I NEED TO GET A NEW EMAIL ADDRESS. These people are getting toooooo many losers....forreal

*sigh*

that's me for now....

OH YES...if I hear another "rapper" on an A milli track...I'll tear out my braids....

Season 1: Episode 2: Hurricane....who?

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Bizzack guys [wow@bizzack]

Anyways, today was extremely hot...I basically cooked myself in some skinny jeans and a black hoodie...

Sooooo about this freakin' hurricane....the weather is PERFECT for a day on the beach like an annoying close friend of mine mentioned to me today. I'm confused Hanna[name of "hurricane"...and I use that term very loosely], aren't you supposed to make it breezy and rainy?...I was kinda hoping that she came through and I wouldn't have to go to Reporting I in the morning....it's not that....

...I hate Reporting, butttt any class that forces me to disrupt the beauty and grace and all around wonderfullness of sleep at 8:00 in the morning, is ludacris...like really mannnnn. *sigh*...Eh

...I also don't like going to school...*hears the world gasp*...yessss it's trueeee...its necessary, butttt if I could get a degree by just waking up one day, sitting down in front of a computer, designing and printing out a certificate...I freakin' would. I know I'm not alone so I don't feel half as bad...even if I were alone...who cares.

And on the subject of school work....is there a P.A.; Procrastinators anonymous...because school had just started anddd I feel the need to stand up in front of a group of strangers and say...."Hi, my name is Carissa, and I'm a procrastinator"... Like, forreal though...anybody know of one...hit me up...
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Funny thing...
...So I was walking on campus today...alone, eh. And this guy just appeared out of no where...it felt like he jumped out from behind a parked car....conversation went as follows...my comments in "()"

Wierd guy: I have you on my myspace! (WDH..who does that?)
Me: [a little freaked out] Ermmm...oh yeah?
Wierd guy: Yeah! We should have lunch together sometime!
Me: [freaked out a lot]....erm maybe not...
Wierd guy: [with wierd smirk on face] Oh we will....we will......So where are you headed? (At this point I try to make a little distance 'cause this dude is crazy)
Me: [lying] Headed home.
Wierd guy: Do you drive? ...or you need a ride home; I could drop you home. (ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!)
Me: No i'm good...[fakes a phone call and walks off]

lol It's soooooo wierd to be approached like that like forreal. So for those who may see me in person...DO NOT...jump out from a parked car and tell me u have me on myspace then invite me to lunch...then offer me a freakin' ride home...if i don't know you....he was spared because he was the first...anything after...IT's A WRAP...please believe!! lol

Anyways my eyes are getting heavy....I think that means i need sleep or something...blah! ignorance is bliss, homie!!!!

but yeah goodnight!!!!!!!

Date: September 3rd, 2008

Season 1: Episode 1: "Intro premiere"

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Well yeah...I'm back, almost a year later... The procrastination monster has no mercy, and I seem to fall prey to it...constantly


So yeah, I wanna take an interesting way of blogging, so I don't spend a few months before getting back to you guys. I just got caught up really, it's interesting how I always go full force at the beginning and run out of steam. Problem with consistency much???? *sigh* Forgive me.

Like I mentioned, this blog will be interesting, i doubt it's orginal, but who cares, I make it mine... Moving on! Each blog I post will be an episode, and this season is this semester in this fine institution called the College of the Bahamas, if you notice my slight sarcasm you probably know what I'm talking about, then again, I tend to over exaggerate...ALOT soooo whatever.

But, yes just for a little background. I attend COB, majoring in Mass communication; my second year [it's my thing really hehe]

My classes this year are pretty interesting...minus counselling...blah
Intro to Film Studies
Photojournalism
Oral Communiation
Reporting I
and finally...erm with little enthusiasm..counselling [a 0 credit class;makes no sense really...que la heck!?]

So yeah, that's the jist of things.

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At this moment...I'm looking at this news cast watching this...eh, sorry..THESE hurricanes, tropical storm type formations spiraling toward these tiny islands...it's wierd really, because I don't see much reactions from anyone. Everyone's just chill, no hurricane preparedness, lol like forreal people are just chill about it. Because the Bahamas has been pretty lucky with these hurricanes, in my opinion, don't agree...don't care [o.0]
Instead of makin sure there are jugs of water, batteries, radios and the windows and stuff are together, people are waiting to see if school and work is cancelled...lol

Eh....it's whateverrrrrrrrr