Ahem.....

|
funny animated gif

Why is this guy dancing you ask????? Welp! I'm baaaaaackkkkkk ^_^

Yes I know my blog has been barren. No updates, no hiatus announcements, no nothing, but I'm back on track. I have to get some things out of my system!!!

Just the announcement blog. Yeah.......

-CarissaRhoI'M BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

VIRGINS ARE UGLY...

|
Back, second blog in a row! HEYYYYYY! So I just woke up, it's about 12 and I woke up this late because I went to bed at 6. Don't know why, wasn't really saving lives or anything!

So, yes. Virgins are ugly...
...apparently. WHY do you ask???

...and you are?

|
Soooooo I'm back!!
So much has been going on with me lately, but not much actually has been going on.

Before I begin what this blog, let me thank you guys who have been reading, thank you guys who have followed and thank you guys who gave me comments. "I am a lesbian" really got a lot of comments, and I loved them all! (Sadly even AFTER that blog post I still got the "oh so you gay now?" question...just a few minutes ago)....UGH...anyways, keep on reading and commenting. Keeps a girl goin' ya'know?

Now *rubs hands together* let's get into it.

We all have problems...my world doesn't revolve around you!

|
I'm back, going full throttle today!

But yes, before I really get into this topic, I must say I don't know how single parents do it! Kids are a handful. I've been taking care of this kid for the past two hours and I am tired as hell right now! When he drifted off to sleep I almost backflipped into a totally joyous and rapture-esque broadway musical!!

Okay, back to our regularly scheduled program.

I'mmmm...back!

|
*blows dust off of blog*

This is awkward! It's like when someone give you their number and you promise to call and you don't....but run into them a few weeks later.

Hey guys! those who are reading for the first time welcome. I'm far from consistent, but when i DO post, it's totally worth it. If you stuck around from when I first started, you have patience the size of Kanye West's ego. ANYWAYS let's get to it.

It's been a few months since I've posted. I want to blame it on school, but I've been out of school for about a month now so that's one month I have no exucse for, but I'll throw one in anyways...I have a life, and didn;t have time to blog!

Let me say that this is the first time in like a month that I have actually seen 6 in the morning and I didn't realize how refreshing a sunrise was, but I still prefer waking up to afternoon sounds. (the preference of a bum indeed!)But I'm only up because I have a babysitting job to do today.

ANYWAYS, what's been up with my life? Nothing, which is sad. nothing is an understatement, just want to let you guys know that I'm yet alive and not dead, but just a lazy procrastinator!

Really...?

|
Wassup ya’ll?!
On another roll! Two posts in a row!
Hope you guys are doing good.
I am…
…well kinda.

Anyways, the forum is closed about the Rihanna and Chris situation. Stop sending messages threatening me, asking me questions as if I were their publicist or asking me to weigh in some more on the situation, they will be ignored. *e-smile* I said my piece on the situation and my opinions matters to some, but not most. Rihanna’s going to do whatever she wants, regardless. And in fact, she did. Google or Youtube it if you don’t what I’m talking about.

ANYWHO!!!
Now, I live in The Bahamas. Beautiful place…really. However, sometimes people tickle my large intestine when they do stuff for the sole purpose of attracting “haters”.
*rips out fingernails*
(What the hell are you talking about Carissa?!)
Well, I’ll tell you!

This past Saturday I went down to Arawak Cay, a little place where both locals and tourists love to congregate, but always segregate. (I dunno, it seemed a little needed) Anyways, I was there with a Jamaican friend of mine who was visiting. So I had my tour guide face on, articulate speech and everything. I even covered my fun bags last night. Yessss that’s right, NO CLEAVAGE. I was a little shocked myself.
Modest?
Yes…
But mostly because it was a little windier (ugh that word looks so wrong) than I liked.
We went to a native restaurant and I crocheted a hat, scarf and thong while I waited for my food. Then I went to try ‘em on in the bathroom and came back and the food was still not there. I could feel my stomach climbing up my throat to see why the food was taking so long. Anyways, a year later, out food comes. The food wasn’t bad. I was just too full of air. So I didn’t eat much after all, which is good because I’ve been eating mad crazy junk this weekend. Eatin’ every second like I’m immune to weight gain. And now I feel a new ring of fat trying to nestle comfortably around my waist. And I hate wearing girdles.
Maybe I should op for one of these:
small_waist_03

Or get up on this:
6748928_c88ae68ff9

Back to the story:
After we eat (or whatever), we got some not-how-they-used-to-make-‘em daiquiris. I still enjoyed mine, though. Had me smiling like this all the way to the car:
bad teeth

…until I saw her…and did this face:
5968463-sm

This entire planet…a giant meatball with a wig on…the majority of the cellulite in the world… a big waterloupemelon (combo of watermelon and cantaloupe), heffa (no, really…she looked heifer-esque:
200px-RML_char_Heffer_Wolfe
How do I KNOW she HAD cellulite all on her thighs, stomach and butt cheeks???
Because Jupiter had it all hanging out (LITERALLY)
Wearing, and I am not exaggerating:
A BRA carrying nothing but sweaty, dirty mini Idaho potato tetas.
A purple XXXX-small-mini -1,000 sized cropped cardigan.
Finally some suspect TIGHT short painted on jeans.
The kind that makes you prone to yeast infections

And not trying to be mean (well….), but girlie’s mouth ain’t the only thing with a big appetite on her body, ‘cause the camel toe elephant hoof was something serious!

If that didn’t paint a picture or you’re one of those folks who learn better with visuals it was something like, but not limited to Darleen…
GuessWhoRuinedCasualFriday copy

Besides that, last week was really good for me. I performed some spoken word and hung out with some of the craziest people on Earth…
PLUS!
Yesterday, some random kitten ran into my house. No, seriously.
Sooooo, I’m keeping her.

I might name her:
-Ginger
-Caramel
-Sweet ‘n’ Sour
-Nilla
-Nilla Limbs
-Purrsia
-twat! (LOL nahhh, but that WOULD be sad though, huh?)

Those are my top choices
But this is her segment!
First night here:
I can’t sleep because she keeps bugging me, and purring right by my ear. Anyways, she started to “meow”, but I ignored her, thinking that she was just looking for unnecessary attention…
…until I heard these sounds like someone was repeatedly jumping on a giant whoopee cushion.
I looked up and saw this heffa, sitting on a stack of books…
..coating them with poop that looked EXACTLY like and has the same texture as:
06-image
Thankfully, there was some newspaper on top of some of the books, but a book was lost in the tragic incident. And some Frosty got on my cardboard guitar case…
…she’s still cute to me though…


Anyways you guys!
Which name do you think she should have?
Choose the best out of the list or give me a suggestion *e-smile*
NO HUMAN NAMES!..I do not want to name my cat after you! Lol *e-smile*

Leave a comment under this post or leave a shout out in the chat box or shoot me…

…an email.
Questions, concerns, complaints, or suggestions
Email muh:
Carissarhoblog@live.com or Carissa-rho@gmail.com

It's always funny...

|
…until it’s you.

First of all, hey guys.
Now to the deal. I find it funny how people always find humor and jokes about other people until the joke is on them. Now, I;m not trying to sound fresh-from-the-factory, fresh-off-the-shelf, just-opening-the-package brand new, but I didn’t put an email (TWO AT THAT) on these blog posts for my health…
Forreal…
If I have to hear it through the grapevine how you feel about any posts...I wasn’t supposed to hear and you didn’t want me to [insert gigantic period here]
So why talk about it…??
And if you ARE getting pissed by reading this…
I AM TALKING TO YOU….

Now, I don’t mean to step on any toes…
…but if I did…
…I’m sorry it hurt…
…NOT SORRY ABOUT STEPPIN ON ‘EM…

Like I say at the end of my blog post, and I quote…
“Questions, CONCERNS, COMPLAINTS, suggestions…email me…”

I don’t say that to make the blog more interesting…
Have an issue?
Get at me, homie! (Yeah, trynna sound a lil’ gangsta)

P.S. I’m sure you were havin’ a good hee-hee-haw-ha-ha-ki-ki when the posts weren’t about you.

Long story short, take whatever I say in my blog, with a grain of salt…besides it’s my opinion no?

PEACE YA’LL

Questions, comments, concerns, complaints, suggestions?
EMAIL ME:
Carissarhoblog@live.com or Carissa-rho@gmail.com

Chat with me! :o]

|
Not a long blog post babies!
Just ways that you can contact me:

JUST GOT ME A TWITTER:
http://twitter.com/carissarho


My Myspace:
www.myspace.com/thugmizzcece

And you can leave me a quick message in the little chat box on this same page. To the left ;]

Don't be shy!

I am HOW old again?

|
I’m back ladies and gents!

I KNOW! Two blogs in a row?!
Someone is on a roll!
Hope you guys are doing well, I am not, but that is A-okay.
I am VERY Sleepy. I am about to dip into a dreamland where the world is peaceful and I’m chillin’ on a beach with Travis McCoy. I swear that guy…MMMMMMMMMMMM..
AND THEN MY HEAD HITS THE TABLE AND I WAKE UP IN THIS NEWSROOM…

So, one thing that has been bugging me is the steady flow of work that has been MUNCHING THE HELL OUTTA ME lately. I have a lecturer…for Video Production and he is the same lecturer for my Advertising Techniques.
WHAT A LOT OF LECTURERS forget is that…I’m in college so technically…I’m an adult, for a lack of a better term.
I may not work a nine to five...but hell IF SOMEONE IN MY CLASS DOES…I think I can consider college a place where ADULTS continue their education.
If I decide to skip class, whose problem is that???
IF I DECIDE…
THAT YOUR CLASS IS TOTALLY THE SAME THING EVERY CLASS…
…AND THAT I DON’T SEE THE NEED…
…OBLIGATION…
…COMMON SENSE…
IN SHOWING UP EVERY CLASS TO SPEW OUT VERBAL STEW….or VERBAL VOMIT….you should be okay with that.
Would you believe that me and some of my classmates were told that if we EVER skip class again, we are going to get a zero…
Let me explain the whole situation so you guys would understand:
Last week,
For my Advertising class, we were told to split up into groups and were asked to produce a 30 second TV commercial and a magazine ad.
The group I was in was a good group. Great in fact, we got an A [suck it!]
However, everyone’s schedules were so crazy that the ONLY time that all of us could be present to record anything was when we had class. MIND YOU, we decided to take Monday’s class to record. Nothing was due. No test was given and no homework was given. Blah. So on Wednesday, the date that the assignment is due, we show up ready to show what we have. This instructor utters out of his mouth AFTER he saw our GREAT work, that the next time we skip his class, he is going to CANCEL the WHOLE assignment. And give us a ZERO.
I’m sorry, wasn’t the assignment due WEDNESDAY?
And didn’t we bring it on WEDNESDAY?
So how could you give us a zero for an assignment we turned in on the day you asked us to?
Because we missed a class on Monday, that you claim was SUPER “important”?
I think he felt insulted and I know I don’t care. Well, maybe not, maybe I am totally losing sleep over this. Cry me a river and drown in it, please.
THE IRONY OF IT IS, the other group was BITTER. And when I say bitter I mean [interesting celeb bitterness here] bitter. They tried to make insignificant critiques that were all explainable. But here is the irony (got a little side tracked), the other group that showed up to the SUPER “important” class had s[censored]t worth of creativity.
Their commercial: FAIL
Their magazine ad: FAIL.
They SUCKED….
Sucked more than Monica Lewinsky [cue rim shot “I’ll be here all week!”]
So what did they learn that “important” Monday class? NOT A DAMN THING.
I kind of wished he gave us a zero though.

All the more reason to get friggin’ crazy in that class and get arrested. Just to sit in a jail cell with some musty bald female with grills who tries to touch me and get my number so we could hook up after she gets out.
..Well now that I put it like that…I guess the A is allll good with me!

Blog not long this time kiddies….
You know what to do”
Questions, concerns, complaints, suggestions:
Carissarhoblog@live.com or Carissa-rho@gmail.com

She's bacckkkk!!!

|
Hey guys!!!

I hope you are doing well, well better than me at least. I’d like to thank you guys for the feedback, questions and comments! Keep ‘em coming. Email any topic that you want me to talk about or any situation you might want me to address to: carissarhoblog@live.com or Carissa-rho@gmail.com.

Well, let me be the first to wish you guys a HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY…
….from Pluto. [insert weird smile here]

I hope you guys got all your frivolous baskets and chocolates and broke up with who ever didn’t buy you the gift you wanted. Lol I kid, but I DO know of some cases where some guys were left hanging because they showed up empty handed…
They showed up and their girlfriends showed off lol
(I hope you guys noticed the slight “news reporting” type writing I did just now.)

Speaking of news report!
I’m at work…internship…labor with no pay….
Should be working on a story but my sources haven’t called me back yet. So I’m sittin’ as pretty as…well ME! Lol anyways.
A few of you wanted me to weigh in on the Chris mauling Rihanna situation. The story is…lol all drawn out if you ask me…If you see any lol’s, please excuse them and don’t think of me as scum. I’m just a blogger with a crude sense of humor I guess???
But I don’t want to weigh in… I hate scales and the word “weigh” pisses me off…
[SIDEBAR: I need to get cracking on my workout because I look like a brown triplex apartment building with two hummers in the front yard…YUH GIRL NEEDS TO SHAPE IT UP!]
But yeah, I don’t want to talk about it in much detail. HOWEVER, if you want to discuss it one-on-one I will [Email me!].
Note to remember: Celebrities are human. They just fart money…well not all…some of ‘em fart hot gas like everyone else. As far as holding people accountable, I’m all for it. I have the ropes, chains and torches. I’m always down for public torture…I KID!
But yeah, if he danced on Rihanna and thought she was double-mint gum and bit the frig outta her…so what? Don’t we all attack and bite the people we love?! Geez! ANYWAYS!
Yeah, that’s as much as I’m going to talk about, because I AM TIRED OF THE STORY…in all honesty.
And another note to remember: People say a man should never hit woman….this is my take on it…And it can be used for both genders:
Don’t give what you can’t take…and don’t take what you don’t give:

Elaboration: Don’t hit someone and expect to walk off sipping a Starbucks tall chocolate-blended crème in your hand. EXPECT to be hit back, whether or not the person retaliates won’t be your problem because you are ready, willing, able…and armed.
Secondly, if you don’t hit on the person or verbally abuse them…DON’T LET THEM HIT YOU OR VERBALLY ABUSE YOU… If one day they decide to go crazy and sign a death wish and smack you…peel their skin off…don’t cry and call it a day...or night…or Saturday… Cry after…or during to release more anger…
Wow I totally felt like Dr. Phil…
No, honestly. I think I feel my hairline receding…

Funny thing happened…
SHE’S BACKKKKKKKK

Who me? Yes. But I am talking about the ever so loving Subway Sandwich artist lady… [I swear I need a reality T.V. show, and that was a shameless request, if you know how I could get my own reality show hit me up. It should be a breathe of fresh air from gross dudes looking for love and “realness” in STD ridden attention whores with extensions, celebrities trying to become “normal” again, or the life of CELEBRITIES….]

[Carissa saunters into Subway with her hair freshly done looking totally gorgeous and…*snaps* OKAY BACK TO THE STORY]

Just my luck…the SAME friggin’ lady.

S.A.: Hey, girl! (like we are cool or something?)
Carissa: Hey. Can I have a 6 inch Meatball sub on Italian, Herbs and Cheese bread, please?
S.A: I see ya’ tongue still pierced.
[Carissa smiles]
S.A: Why you don’t take it out?
Carissa: [a little annoyed] Is my tongue piercing affecting the way you make a sandwich?
S.A.: No, I just sayin’. It’s just so, weird.
Carissa: [thinking] Just make my F[censored]ing sandwich…WTF.
S.A.: Toasted or warmed?
Carissa: Toasted.
[S.A. puts sandwich in the toaster and returns to the counter]
S.A: You gay, aye?
Carissa: WTF? What does that have to do with my DAMN SANDWICHHHHHHH?!
S.A.: It ain’ because of your sandwich….
Carissa: Exactly, so why are we discussing this???...
[Get the sandwich out of the toaster]
S.A.: Only gay people like them things, right?
Carissa: According to you, I’m a hot flaming lesbian…so I guess…
S.A.: Gay people DO have that…
Carissa: No lettuce, just mayo, thanks.
S.A.: You should take that out before people start thinking you gay…
[S.A. cashes my order]
Carissa: Before I leave, since we’re working off of stereotypes, here… I guess you’re an idiot who either can’t afford college or not smart enough to go. Because you don’t need a degree to put condiments on a sandwich, no?
[S.A. stands shocked and I walk off]

Two good things came out of my mini blow up in Subway that Saturday afternoon.
1) I got to vent on some ignorant [censored]
2) I could watch her make my sandwich so she couldn’t spit, piss or smear the sandwich on her dry scalp

Now, I am in no, way shape or form saying that dumb people work to Subway, because I don’t know why they work there. Just giving her a dose of her own meds. Not all people who work to Subway are dumb and not all people with tongue piercings are gay.


Anyways babies, this blog getting longer than I wanted it to be.
Questions, comments, concerns, complaints email:
carissarhoblog@live.com or Carissa.rho@gmail.com

BAD CHANGE!

|
Hey guys!!!
Hope you all are doing well, better than ME at least!!

Soooooo, I'm in the dungeon...(work internship)...SUPPOSED to be writing a story, but I'm not. Why?

....'cause I don't feel like it.
Every time the door opens I look over this big bulky Mac computer to see if my editor/supervisor is off from lunch yet. When I see her come through the door, I feel like a marshmallow left on the sidewalk in 101 degree weather....then after I'm melted, some stray dog licks me off the sidewalk. I feel defeated, tired, used....and sticky.

As much as I love writing....newspaper IS NOT FOR ME...if I can't write like how I write in my blog. Take it or leave it. Love it or hate it...and any other similar cliches.

Now, I've noticed, I never really have a "topic" for my blogs...and hell, I like it like that, butttttttt '09 is time for change...lol (I laugh because that word means nothing to me...I mean it does, but I rarely stick to what I promised myself...[HENCE MY LACK OF ENTHUSIASM WHEN IT COMES TO MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION])

Anyway, don't you hate it when....
People change toward you, but it's the BAD kind?
Change could be good or bad...
Like drugs....you have the ones you get hooked and dependent on and they basically run your life, then there are the bad ones.

So a little story about what happened a few MINUTES before I checked into depression central.

-PAUSE!-
Soooooo one of my co-workers[ugh] just told me that the phones are down..YAY!!! which means....I don't get to do any interviews over the phone today!

-PLAY-

BAD CHANGE!
So there I was walking into Starbucks, and I see this person. We were friends once upon a time in a land far away when a purple princess lived in a castle with a mean dragon. But a recent dash of hmmm...anyway for a lack of a better term..."fame" sprinkled on them. Apparently, "fame" comes with a head pump, free with every purchase. Because, why all of a sudden when you're "famous",I can't talk to you on the same level, because YOUR EGO and I are competing? Why all of a sudden, we aren't able to be in the same room, because YOUR EGO needs its own space, seat and glass of wine?

Now, I have nothing against people getting their successes, because hell, I'm trynna ride the train on the road of success, too. In fact, I'm trynna get my own Hybrid and drive on the road of success by myself with my GPS leading the way. (I'm all about going green)... Speaking of going green, THIS IS NOT JEALOUSY and I am not a [cringes] "HATER". But I digress.

But, forreal, why is your ego the size of the earth plus the fat they sucked out of Star Jones? (Her fat was shipped to Mars for feeding purposes). Anyway! Do me, the world and yourself a favor and follow these instructions to help you realize a VERY important fact of life........

WHEN YOU TAKE A DUMP:
1)Wipe...why?..Because it's hygienic!
2)Face the toilet...
3)Get on your knees...
4)Put your head in the bowl (Make sure your nose is about an inch away from the water)
5)DROWN YOURSELF!..lol I kid...
6)Inhale DEEP.

What happened?
Now, unless you're from Pluto where their doo doo smells like roses and vanilla, it SHOULD and DOES smell like a Hot Garbage meal with sweet and sour cesspit sauce. SO STOP ACTING LIKE YOU'RE FROM PLUTO!
STOP ACTING LIKE THEY BOTTLE YOUR GENITAL JUICE FOR PERFUME/COLOGNE!
STOP! STOP! STOP!
STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DESERVE TO TELL PEOPLE "Get off my stage!"...NO! You can't say it!

[by the way, you don't have to TOTALLY rule out number 5....just sayin'..]

LOL VENTED MUCH!?

-PAUSE-
My supervisor just pranced in with a big smile....
OH YAY!...She's too sleepy to give me work...
-break dancing in my smart casual work clothes and getting rug burns-

-PLAY-
Okay, another issue about change...
BAD CHANGE...
Do you know those people who are the tiny ugly ducklings in high school and after high school....

.....they become big, ugly swans, in looks AND personality?
I don't know about you guys, BUT...when people act like that, it makes my liver cry.
Having self confidence, whether you, in my opinion, resemble a bloated Flavor Flav or worse, is WAYYY different from having a bad attitude toward every human being and some puppies. Why do you always act like the world is against you, ESPECIALLY IF I WAS YOUR FRIEND?...
Boo boo, get it together or put a paper bag over your face....I mean attitude. You DO see people walking around with paper bags covering their attitudes right?? Lol if you say, "Yes", out loud no matter where you are right now would make me feel less mean...SO SCREAM "YES!"...now. I just did and got looks at the office. OH WELL!

But yeah, fix your attitude, if you can't fix your face.


WOOSAH! Venting is good!!

Nowwwwww for some funny things that happened to me this week...

Yesterday I was in Subways, ordering my usual: Meatball 6 inch on Italian, Herbs and Cheese bread, toasted, with just mayo. HERE IS HOW IT WENT...

-Carissa walks in with head phones singing "Radio" by Beyonce and walks up to the counter-
-"Sandwich Artist" as they prefer to be called, is on the phone...[I'm ready to freaking order]
Carissa: Hellooooo?
Sandwich artist: (to the person on the phone) I'll call you back I have a customer waitin'.
Carissa: Hey, can I have a 6 inch Meat ball sub on Italian, Herbs and Cheese bread (YES I HAD TO REPEAT IT, 'cause I love it!)
S.A.: Umm...ya' tongue pierced? [why are you asking me this???]
Carissa: Umm...yea.
S.A.: But you look like you still in school(high school)...
Carissa: Umm...okay? [SHE STILL HASN'T STARTED MAKING MY SANDWICH]
-S.A. turns and gets a wheat bread loaf-
Carissa: I said, Italian, Herbs and Cheese...
S.A.: Oh. -gets the right loaf- Sooooo you look so young..why ya tongue pierced?
Carissa: Toast the sandwich please...[yes, I ignored her]
S.A.: -puts sandwich in the toaster- Huh? Why you pierce it? [like I didn't hear her the first time?]
Carissa: Because I'm old enough....and I had nothing better to do..
S.A.: Mmmmmm...I still think you too young, you LOOK young.[WHY ARE WE TAKING ABOUT THIS?!?! A Sandwich artist's job is to PAINT MY SANDWICH WITH SQUIRTS OF MAYO AND MUSTARD and add little 3D pieces like tomatoes, lettuce etc...WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HOW YOUNG I LOOK...MAKE MY DAMN SANDWICH!]
-Carissa is about to tell the S.A. what to put on the sandwich when some random dude comes into Subway and begins to order cookies..from the door...-
Carissa: (ignoring the man) Just mayo....
Random guy: YA' LEMME GET SOME OATMEAL COOKIES PLEASE! [WHY DON'T WE WAIT?]
-Carissa and the random dude are talking at the same time by the way-
S.A.: We only have 1 oatmeal cookie...[I'm sorry, I wasn't ordering...]
Carissa: Yeah, can I have 3 Double Chocolate cookies with that, please?
Random Guy: Only 1 oatmeal?
S.A.: Yeah, we only have 1 oatmeal...
-She(S.A.) finally decides to take my order and cash me up-
-Carissa is heading out the door-
S.A.: (to Random guy) She look young, hey? She have her tongue pierced...
Random Guy: Oh ya?!...Soun' good to me, still.
-Carissa chuckles slightly on the way out of the restaurant-

If I didn't laugh I would have yelled at this ignorant woman. WHY IS MY TONGUE RING SO AMAZING? ANYWAYS....a whole OTHER topic, about people with these judgmental mindsets.


ANYWAYS Y'ALL PEACE!

By the way: I love Gnarls Barkley!! Like I have been jamming to their "The Odd Couple" album all week...and will be forever....

Peace,
Carissa

Oh yeah, question you guys, should I take my blog to Facebook, too? Let me know!

Email me: carissarhoblog@live.com
Questions, topics, concerns, ETC!

Honestly...?

|
Hey guys!!!!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEARS TO YOU GUYS!!!
I hope your Christmas was great and I'm glad to see you made it into the new year!!
A lot of people didn't and I'm glad I did....and I'm glad YOU DID!

New Years resolutions....BLAH...every one that I've made, got broken by the second week in the year! Soooooo, I'm going to switch it up. I'll make one I know I can keep, with a lot of effort and discipline!

-drum roll commences-

My New Year's Resolution is to stop calling Mars to talk to my purple monkey boyfriend [long distance phone charges like that DON'T PLAY!].


But yessssssssssss, now that THAT is out of the way...

I know I'm late...
What a way to start off a year...
Sorry...
So many things have happened since I've posted....

Let me take the time to give congrats to The United States of America on their first black, or African American (if you're into that politically correct stuff) president.
I'm not an American, but I feel proud. It makes me feel hmmmm...like, like [insert something witty here]...why? Because although I had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with it, I am able to say that I was around when it happened.

I am writing right now from the newsroom at a local paper that I'm interning at...
I've always heard reporters talk about the field...and I was nervous as hell before I came here...with all reason to be....
Let's just put it this way...a cup of water could freeze in here...
...without the air conditioner working...
...on a hot summer day...
...in hell....
Are reporters supposed to be THIS....mean?
For example....

[Carissa enters the newsroom FOR THE FIRST TIME]
Carissa:[loud enough for the approx. 7 people to hear...] Hey.
[TV reporting the now President Obama's Inauguration and clicking of fingers on the keyboard are the only things heard...]
{Like why are we so rude???}
Some girl who ACCIDENTALLY makes eye contact with me: Hey.

Like....honestly??? It's not like I'm here to take your job...
Hell, I'm not even being paid!!!

UGH
EXAMPLE NUMBER 2:
Some tall guy, {really attractive in fact but too old for me} walks into the room and sees me at the computer that I am assigned to, and flashes a smile. I return a smile. He goes to a fellow reporter(ugh shoot me)...he talks to her and ends up asking: "We have a new employee?"

NOW...

With the most disgust that she could muster in her voice...and like I WASN'T THERE...
She said: Ummmm...no. Intern...Don't remember her name...uhhhhh...[laughs].....hmm How are you though?

-pause-
Bear in mind that I HAD JUST BEEN INTRODUCED TO THIS GIRL...and in front of my supervisor...she gave me the most widest smile and I thought that this girl would have melted the ice in this winter wonderland............UGH!! Honestly...?!

ANYWAYS....the guy shook my hand....he had the softest hands I've felt all day...they were warm....it was nice...but he walked off and left me with these Ice Princesses in their frozen dungeon.
My supervisor kept trying to convince me that she is not an "ogre"...who she failed to make a case for were the Shrek-esque people that walk around in this newsroom. I guess she didn't plead a case for them, because she knows as well as I do, maybe even better how they act.

I'll be here...FOUR days out of the week and...10 hours out of the week...for 10 WEEKS...
I've been in here for 1 hour and I am ready to leave...like I am not used to this...I swear, I'm going to go crazy!

I feel sleepy. I'm fighting sleep EXTRA hard. Maybe it's some spell they're casting on me?
AND PLUS....
I feel a big bump/zit/pimple...whatever you want to call it, on my chin...WHAT A FREAKIN' DAY!

AND PLUS!
I am in this Jujutsu class...STOP LAUGHING!...and this girl who was my partner for an exercise...has my FREAKIN' ARM BRUISED....like WHY!?

SHE WAS DOING EVERY DEFENSE MOVE INCORRECTLY...so instead of blocking with her arm...she was using her elbow..EVERY TIME...
...no matter HOW much I told her...
"The arm..."
"Use your arm, not your elbow."
"Don't use your elbow."...
...she kept coming at me with this DAMN ELBOW.
I AM NOT THE INSTRUCTOR..so why do I sound like I'm being paid by COB to be the Jujutsu instructor??? Honestly...

Why...?

10 whole weeks of this crap...
12 more weeks of Jujutsu
A few months until I head to Canada...hmmm
Canada, despite the FREAKIN' COLD WEATHER...seems to be HEAVEN compared to this semester at COB...SUCKY!
In fact...[just to add another metaphor about the cold shoulders in this damn news room]...Canada seems like a summer vacation destination with warm sunshine and smooth daiquiris...compared to this newsroom!!!

OMG...UGH...I am so annoyed...
I didn't even talk about what I initally wanted to talk about in this blog...
look out for "Honestly...Episode 2"
I WON'T MAKE ANY PROMISES!...

Umm...peace