Hey guys!!!
Hope you all are doing well, better than ME at least!!

Soooooo, I'm in the dungeon...(work internship)...SUPPOSED to be writing a story, but I'm not. Why?

....'cause I don't feel like it.
Every time the door opens I look over this big bulky Mac computer to see if my editor/supervisor is off from lunch yet. When I see her come through the door, I feel like a marshmallow left on the sidewalk in 101 degree weather....then after I'm melted, some stray dog licks me off the sidewalk. I feel defeated, tired, used....and sticky.

As much as I love writing....newspaper IS NOT FOR ME...if I can't write like how I write in my blog. Take it or leave it. Love it or hate it...and any other similar cliches.

Now, I've noticed, I never really have a "topic" for my blogs...and hell, I like it like that, butttttttt '09 is time for (I laugh because that word means nothing to me...I mean it does, but I rarely stick to what I promised myself...[HENCE MY LACK OF ENTHUSIASM WHEN IT COMES TO MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION])

Anyway, don't you hate it when....
People change toward you, but it's the BAD kind?
Change could be good or bad...
Like have the ones you get hooked and dependent on and they basically run your life, then there are the bad ones.

So a little story about what happened a few MINUTES before I checked into depression central.

Soooooo one of my co-workers[ugh] just told me that the phones are down..YAY!!! which means....I don't get to do any interviews over the phone today!


So there I was walking into Starbucks, and I see this person. We were friends once upon a time in a land far away when a purple princess lived in a castle with a mean dragon. But a recent dash of hmmm...anyway for a lack of a better term..."fame" sprinkled on them. Apparently, "fame" comes with a head pump, free with every purchase. Because, why all of a sudden when you're "famous",I can't talk to you on the same level, because YOUR EGO and I are competing? Why all of a sudden, we aren't able to be in the same room, because YOUR EGO needs its own space, seat and glass of wine?

Now, I have nothing against people getting their successes, because hell, I'm trynna ride the train on the road of success, too. In fact, I'm trynna get my own Hybrid and drive on the road of success by myself with my GPS leading the way. (I'm all about going green)... Speaking of going green, THIS IS NOT JEALOUSY and I am not a [cringes] "HATER". But I digress.

But, forreal, why is your ego the size of the earth plus the fat they sucked out of Star Jones? (Her fat was shipped to Mars for feeding purposes). Anyway! Do me, the world and yourself a favor and follow these instructions to help you realize a VERY important fact of life........

1)Wipe...why?..Because it's hygienic!
2)Face the toilet...
3)Get on your knees...
4)Put your head in the bowl (Make sure your nose is about an inch away from the water)
6)Inhale DEEP.

What happened?
Now, unless you're from Pluto where their doo doo smells like roses and vanilla, it SHOULD and DOES smell like a Hot Garbage meal with sweet and sour cesspit sauce. SO STOP ACTING LIKE YOU'RE FROM PLUTO!
STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DESERVE TO TELL PEOPLE "Get off my stage!"...NO! You can't say it!

[by the way, you don't have to TOTALLY rule out number 5....just sayin'..]


My supervisor just pranced in with a big smile....
OH YAY!...She's too sleepy to give me work...
-break dancing in my smart casual work clothes and getting rug burns-

Okay, another issue about change...
Do you know those people who are the tiny ugly ducklings in high school and after high school....

.....they become big, ugly swans, in looks AND personality?
I don't know about you guys, BUT...when people act like that, it makes my liver cry.
Having self confidence, whether you, in my opinion, resemble a bloated Flavor Flav or worse, is WAYYY different from having a bad attitude toward every human being and some puppies. Why do you always act like the world is against you, ESPECIALLY IF I WAS YOUR FRIEND?...
Boo boo, get it together or put a paper bag over your face....I mean attitude. You DO see people walking around with paper bags covering their attitudes right?? Lol if you say, "Yes", out loud no matter where you are right now would make me feel less mean...SO SCREAM "YES!" I just did and got looks at the office. OH WELL!

But yeah, fix your attitude, if you can't fix your face.

WOOSAH! Venting is good!!

Nowwwwww for some funny things that happened to me this week...

Yesterday I was in Subways, ordering my usual: Meatball 6 inch on Italian, Herbs and Cheese bread, toasted, with just mayo. HERE IS HOW IT WENT...

-Carissa walks in with head phones singing "Radio" by Beyonce and walks up to the counter-
-"Sandwich Artist" as they prefer to be called, is on the phone...[I'm ready to freaking order]
Carissa: Hellooooo?
Sandwich artist: (to the person on the phone) I'll call you back I have a customer waitin'.
Carissa: Hey, can I have a 6 inch Meat ball sub on Italian, Herbs and Cheese bread (YES I HAD TO REPEAT IT, 'cause I love it!)
S.A.: Umm...ya' tongue pierced? [why are you asking me this???]
Carissa: Umm...yea.
S.A.: But you look like you still in school(high school)...
-S.A. turns and gets a wheat bread loaf-
Carissa: I said, Italian, Herbs and Cheese...
S.A.: Oh. -gets the right loaf- Sooooo you look so young..why ya tongue pierced?
Carissa: Toast the sandwich please...[yes, I ignored her]
S.A.: -puts sandwich in the toaster- Huh? Why you pierce it? [like I didn't hear her the first time?]
Carissa: Because I'm old enough....and I had nothing better to do..
S.A.: Mmmmmm...I still think you too young, you LOOK young.[WHY ARE WE TAKING ABOUT THIS?!?! A Sandwich artist's job is to PAINT MY SANDWICH WITH SQUIRTS OF MAYO AND MUSTARD and add little 3D pieces like tomatoes, lettuce etc...WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HOW YOUNG I LOOK...MAKE MY DAMN SANDWICH!]
-Carissa is about to tell the S.A. what to put on the sandwich when some random dude comes into Subway and begins to order cookies..from the door...-
Carissa: (ignoring the man) Just mayo....
-Carissa and the random dude are talking at the same time by the way-
S.A.: We only have 1 oatmeal cookie...[I'm sorry, I wasn't ordering...]
Carissa: Yeah, can I have 3 Double Chocolate cookies with that, please?
Random Guy: Only 1 oatmeal?
S.A.: Yeah, we only have 1 oatmeal...
-She(S.A.) finally decides to take my order and cash me up-
-Carissa is heading out the door-
S.A.: (to Random guy) She look young, hey? She have her tongue pierced...
Random Guy: Oh ya?!...Soun' good to me, still.
-Carissa chuckles slightly on the way out of the restaurant-

If I didn't laugh I would have yelled at this ignorant woman. WHY IS MY TONGUE RING SO AMAZING? ANYWAYS....a whole OTHER topic, about people with these judgmental mindsets.


By the way: I love Gnarls Barkley!! Like I have been jamming to their "The Odd Couple" album all week...and will be forever....


Oh yeah, question you guys, should I take my blog to Facebook, too? Let me know!

Email me:
Questions, topics, concerns, ETC!


Hey guys!!!!!!
I hope your Christmas was great and I'm glad to see you made it into the new year!!
A lot of people didn't and I'm glad I did....and I'm glad YOU DID!

New Years resolutions....BLAH...every one that I've made, got broken by the second week in the year! Soooooo, I'm going to switch it up. I'll make one I know I can keep, with a lot of effort and discipline!

-drum roll commences-

My New Year's Resolution is to stop calling Mars to talk to my purple monkey boyfriend [long distance phone charges like that DON'T PLAY!].

But yessssssssssss, now that THAT is out of the way...

I know I'm late...
What a way to start off a year...
So many things have happened since I've posted....

Let me take the time to give congrats to The United States of America on their first black, or African American (if you're into that politically correct stuff) president.
I'm not an American, but I feel proud. It makes me feel, like [insert something witty here]...why? Because although I had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with it, I am able to say that I was around when it happened.

I am writing right now from the newsroom at a local paper that I'm interning at...
I've always heard reporters talk about the field...and I was nervous as hell before I came here...with all reason to be....
Let's just put it this way...a cup of water could freeze in here...
...without the air conditioner working...
...on a hot summer day... hell....
Are reporters supposed to be THIS....mean?
For example....

[Carissa enters the newsroom FOR THE FIRST TIME]
Carissa:[loud enough for the approx. 7 people to hear...] Hey.
[TV reporting the now President Obama's Inauguration and clicking of fingers on the keyboard are the only things heard...]
{Like why are we so rude???}
Some girl who ACCIDENTALLY makes eye contact with me: Hey.

Like....honestly??? It's not like I'm here to take your job...
Hell, I'm not even being paid!!!

Some tall guy, {really attractive in fact but too old for me} walks into the room and sees me at the computer that I am assigned to, and flashes a smile. I return a smile. He goes to a fellow reporter(ugh shoot me)...he talks to her and ends up asking: "We have a new employee?"


With the most disgust that she could muster in her voice...and like I WASN'T THERE...
She said: Intern...Don't remember her name...uhhhhh...[laughs].....hmm How are you though?

Bear in mind that I HAD JUST BEEN INTRODUCED TO THIS GIRL...and in front of my supervisor...she gave me the most widest smile and I thought that this girl would have melted the ice in this winter wonderland............UGH!! Honestly...?!

ANYWAYS....the guy shook my hand....he had the softest hands I've felt all day...they were was nice...but he walked off and left me with these Ice Princesses in their frozen dungeon.
My supervisor kept trying to convince me that she is not an "ogre"...who she failed to make a case for were the Shrek-esque people that walk around in this newsroom. I guess she didn't plead a case for them, because she knows as well as I do, maybe even better how they act.

I'll be here...FOUR days out of the week and...10 hours out of the week...for 10 WEEKS...
I've been in here for 1 hour and I am ready to I am not used to this...I swear, I'm going to go crazy!

I feel sleepy. I'm fighting sleep EXTRA hard. Maybe it's some spell they're casting on me?
I feel a big bump/zit/pimple...whatever you want to call it, on my chin...WHAT A FREAKIN' DAY!

I am in this Jujutsu class...STOP LAUGHING!...and this girl who was my partner for an exercise...has my FREAKIN' ARM WHY!?

SHE WAS DOING EVERY DEFENSE MOVE instead of blocking with her arm...she was using her elbow..EVERY TIME... matter HOW much I told her...
"The arm..."
"Use your arm, not your elbow."
"Don't use your elbow."...
...she kept coming at me with this DAMN ELBOW.
I AM NOT THE why do I sound like I'm being paid by COB to be the Jujutsu instructor??? Honestly...


10 whole weeks of this crap...
12 more weeks of Jujutsu
A few months until I head to Canada...hmmm
Canada, despite the FREAKIN' COLD WEATHER...seems to be HEAVEN compared to this semester at COB...SUCKY!
In fact...[just to add another metaphor about the cold shoulders in this damn news room]...Canada seems like a summer vacation destination with warm sunshine and smooth daiquiris...compared to this newsroom!!!

OMG...UGH...I am so annoyed...
I didn't even talk about what I initally wanted to talk about in this blog...
look out for "Honestly...Episode 2"